A Quick Check-In (To Laugh At Other People)

I'm pounding away on the SCA projects, and I'm also right in the middle of building a table for my electronic keyboard, as well as a new workbench for my shop! Whee! Busy!

If you'd like to see the SCA stuff, it's over here.  

The table and bench will be up as soon as they're finished, and I'm hoping to get at least one of them done by this weekend.

Meanwhile, I went to Texas Thrift Store last night, killing time before I had to be somewhere else.  TTS is one of my favorite thrift stores in town.  It  was recently featured on Refashionista and is mentioned often on Thrift Horror.  I follow both blogs, and I have to say, Thrift Horror in particular cracks me the f#ck UP, often first thing in the morning when I need it most.

Because schadenfreude and coffee are just a match made in heaven, dontchaknow.


Anyhow, I discovered a couple of my own thrift horrors, and I thought I'd share them with you: 

I'm sure someone made this with love.  Or something.


Just...why?


Was the bottle cold?  Do you shake this at football games when your team scores?


Who's out there scouring thrift stores for a beer bottle covered in dirty yarn?


It's too bad the bottle isn't blue.

I very nearly said something out loud when I saw this.  Then I had to pretend to admire it while I made sure the guy admiring a dish drainer four feet away wasn't watching me take pictures of thing, lol.  (I do, actually, often photograph items I'm interested in in a store, so that if I don't buy them, I know what to come back for).

I know they sell lampshades like this, but this one is homemade.  Someone glued a bunch of really cheap polyester rose petals all over this poor bell shade, and then whole roses all the way around the lip, most of which have fallen off.


Also the glue was...greebly...and peeling, and separating from things.  Which I guess was why the thing was falling apart.  I was tempted to buy it and clean it up just to make it feel better.



What I DID buy, though, was a couple of really zesty dresses, one which is fabulous as-is, and the other needs a tiny bit of "refashioning" to be completely fabulous.  I'll show you when I'm done.  It's at the end of  a loooooong to-do list.  :)

Lub yooz!

.

Technical Difficulties

Whoops!  Having some camera/phone/computer issues.  Will post living room, paint, and other stuff as soon as I can.

Meanwhile, I sometimes make pictorial to-do lists.  And sometimes, I post them on Facebook, because the way people guess what each line is supposed to mean cracks me the hell UP.  Here's today's:

1



2




3







4









5

Guesses so far: 

1. make a bear head
2. turn a cupcake into a ziggurat and a shirt
3. Set hair on fire and enjoy it
4. stub toe until it throbs with pain;   or  injure toes with decorative spikes
5. This was the one that got the most attention: 

• ride a flaming wave into Hell, collect insurance
• teach a brachiosaur to fire-walk
• ride a brachiosaur on a raft
• cooking money
• watch a tiny space person riding a three-legged dinosaur on a viking ship
• set a cartoon moose on fire for money

.

Craigslist Lingo Primer

Orig. posted on my private online journal today (public version avail. here), and was encouraged by friends to post it here.  Hope you enjoyed it :)



1.  Grammar/spelling optional.
2.  Understanding of actual furniture history/style trends optional.  Gross misunderstanding of same preferred.


Quaint:  Small.  Old, or so ugly and/or beat-up as to look that way.

Great (also Beautiful, Fantastic, Awesome, etc.):  FUGLY.

Pet-free/smoke free home:  I'm better than you. 

Vintage:  old and beat-up;  usually acquired via either pity hand-me-down or dumpster diving.

Detailed description of how YOU! might use the item: item is a piece of crap and requires a sales pitch.

Unique:  WTF.  (also often indicates item is handcrafted (see below) or "art"). 

Disclosure of how much seller originally paid for item:  failure to understand concept behind Craigslist and/or target market motivation.

Elegant:  nursing home/gynecologist's office salvage.

Funky:  see "unique"

Second item included for free:  oh please god get this nasty crap out of my house.

In great/good/excellent condition:   + "...for it's age/abuse endured."

Shabby Chic:  fucked up white paint job

OBO (or best offer):  see "second item included"
LISTING TITLE IN  ALL CAPS:  maybe someone will buy it this time.

Item is a hospital bed or other hospital equipment:  someone died in it recently.

Handcrafted:  1.  built incorrectly by an amateur carpenter   2.  see "great"

Emphasis on color of item (e.g. "BLUE!!! chair"):  this is the only thing the item has going for it.

Must sell soon/now/etc.:   1.  seller is moving out of state and is completely disorganized/unprepared     2.  see "second item"

Antique:  1.  Mass-produced cheap crap from the 60s    2. purchased at World Market 2 years ago

Rant against a seller disguised as item listing:   troll

Only, reduced price, etc.: seller is asking twice what the item is actually worth and doesn't understand why it hasn't sold yet.

Still/new in box:  2oz of cardboard and plastic is worth three times the value of the actual item being sold.

~*~!!!!!{{{{OMG}}}}*** etc.:  seller has not has his/her meds today.






.