Up To Here With Aphorisms

aka Fireplace Makeover

Aw, man, you guys, I looked high and low for a quote from Stargate for this post - Teal'c at one point said something about a proverb about "the futility of enumerating unhatched chickens".  I think we're just going to have to go with "don't judge a book by its cover" on this one, though:

is that not the ugliest crap?  I was so afraid. 

By the same token, let us remember to never, ever judge a wet coat of paint.  We all know that most of the time, paint dries darker. Except when it doesn't. And when it dries to a completely different color.  And we all know that sometimes, the first coat of paint in a 3-step process is just going to look like complete ass, and that you have to accept it and keep going.

This is chalkboard paint.  I could have left it as-is after painting, but I wanted the soft, cloudy appearance of a chalkboard, so I "primed" the tiles the way you do with a new piece of chalkboard slate, or a newly-painted chalkboard using chalkboard paint (rub the side of a piece of chalk all over the surface in big wide strokes, then buff it all off with an eraser or a soft rag. This fills the teeny gaps and pits in this semi-porous surface, so the first marks on the board don't set in so deeply they can't be erased).  I also went back over the grout with a dark gray paint, so it wouldn't be so stark looking.

After chalking the tiles - and yes, I could write on them at this point if I wanted to - they're finally taking on exactly the look I'd envisioned for the fireplace.  After eight years of a fireplace tiled in bland, beige, ceramic tile, I now have a deep charcoal-gray "slate" tile - it's really dark!  It's kind of startling.  And it changes the visual balance of the entire room.

I did this Tuesday night, and I tell you, I was not at ALL sure I was going to like it - in fact, that night was pretty sure I'd made a huge mistake.  But every time I see the "new" tiles, I love them more and more.  I love the color, I love the softness, I love that it feels like slate on my bare feet, I love the way it forms a dark backdrop for everything that surrounds it.  I really love it! Thank goodness!

BEFORE

You know what else I love about it?  It doesn't look like the fireplace is made of leftover floor tiles, which is is. In the "before" picture above?  That's the same beige floor tile in the kitchen, entry, and both bathrooms.  It's gray on the hearth because I painted it a billion years ago, then scraped the paint off the wall tiles and not the floor tiles.

AFTER

Questions:

1. Yes, that's the same mirror.  I scraped off the stamped pattern around the edge, and painted a gold "frame" on it.  And I hate it.  It's going away soon. 
2. The fireplace screen is very soon to be spray-painted silver, which I think will be a nice foil to all the dark "stone."  
3. No, there's no floor molding around the hearth.  It died a while back and I haven't replaced it yet, because I'm effing lazy. 
4. The white cord around the hearth is the TV cable.  We only have one cable jack, so in 2007 when my ex and I put in the flooring, we ran a loooooong cable all the way around the perimeter of the room, under the baseboards and trim molding.  The fireplace floor trim is supposed to cover it. 
5. Idk wtf is going on with the glass on the mantel.  It's just up there because I couldn't think of what to do with all the blue glass I kept a few weeks ago when I sorted it all and gave most of it away.   

The Renovation Monkey. His name is Jacques. 

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Insert One [1] Coffee To Continue

Proof that I'm too tired to be at work today:

As I was scrolling through my Google reader, catching up on all the new entries on all the blogs and websites I follow, I came across this entry from Apartment Therapy.   I thought it said "monkey."  I really did.  In the title, and in the byline.  I went to the website so I could look in the pictures for the monkey, because I didn't get it on first glance.  The Kitchen Renovation Monkey?  You want me to put my monkey where?? Huh?

While it's a well-known fact (to me, anyway) that every time I'm working on a project in the garage, a bee flies in, inspects my work, and then leaves.  For eight years.  I call her the Home Improvement Bee.  But I don't have a Renovation Monkey.

What I DO have is a pretty cool update to my fireplace façade.  I even took pictures.  AND I remembered to bring the camera into the office with me so I could upload said pictures.   I did not, however, remember to bring the cable that connects the camera to the computer.  Sigh.

So tomorrow, I shall bring you both a pretty cool fireplace update, and a Renovation Monkey.


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Holy crap, it worked!

In the midst of a housecleaning binge today, while doing the Knick Knack Rodeo I'd been telling myself I was going to do for the past two months, I decided it was time to clean out all my incense pots.  (I burn a lot of incense).  I use beach sand in them, and after a while, the sand gets full of ash, sticks, and bits of incense that didn't get burned - also dust, dead leaves from houseplants, dog hair, and all sorts of random stuff (even fingernail clippings, back when I was married.  *is giving the ex that look*).  Every so often I sieve all the sand to remove the bits and shake off the dust and ash, and re-fill the pots.

This time I decided to do something about the nasty appearance of this little brass pot:

It's not much, and it only cost me like a buck at the thrift store, but it makes a great little incense burner pot.  I cleaned it up and polished it when I brought it home, but it didn't really get all that shiny or anything, because what do I know about polishing brass, you know?  

I thought to myself, "Well, it says on Pinterest..."  (which is how blogs like Pintester and Pinstrosity are born, lol).  

I poked around the kitchen and laundry room briefly.  Baking soda: check.  Peroxide: check.  Lemon juice: no.  Scrubbing toothbrush: check.   Okay then. Plain ol' peroxide and baking soda it is, then.  (I wasn't sure what to expect, here.  I'd tried the same mixture on my pots and pans, and while it worked extremely well, it was also slow as crap.  After soaking one pan for like eight hours it was mostly clean. Ugh). 

Holy crap you guys!  I scrubbed for a second or three with the toothbrush before I realized I didn't even have to scrub.  Places where the mixture was dripping around the side of the pot were just as shiny and gold as places I'd scrubbed, so I just used the toothbrush to smear the baking soda/peroxide mixture around the outside and inside, let it sit for a few seconds, and rinsed it off, then dried the pot.  

THAT WAS AMAZING.  

And, you know, yeah, it could be cleaner than this.  I have stuff to do, though. 

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Things That Rock

This is my brand-spanking new china cabinet.  Or maybe it's just my same old china cabinet with different stuff in it.   I kept all of my herbs, oils, waxes, and other supplies for making homemade body care products and perfumes for years...so long, in fact, that it was all completely out of date, and most of it was *rancid*.  Eeeeew.

Meanwhile, I have this massive rock collection that's been scattered all over the house and boxed up awaiting some magical day when I had a good place to display the entire collection all together.  Tick...tick....tick...

goodbye, rotten herbs

I was standing around the dining room the other night, just sort of absently gazing towards the china cabinet while my mind was on what I was going to do with all the knick-knacky clutter that lives in my house, breeding like freaking roaches, when it hit me:  a GREAT place to start would be to deal with the clutter by categories...like my rock collection!  Perfect solution!   And I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

the central, open shelves.  The punch jar
and cups are a set my mom bought in Germany
before I was born. :) 

still using this top shelf for overflow from the
spice cabinet in the kitchen 

A few highlights: 

a polished Smoky Quartz point

Citrine sphere

Emerald Quartz sphere

Somewhere, if I can find it, I also have a whole box of quartz pieces, some nice sulfides, a box of fossils... I wonder where they've all gone?

purple Fluorite octohedron with pyrite inclusions

Add caption

Enhydro agate, sealed - has pocket of water millions of
years old, trapped inside! 

Note:  IDK WTF blogger is doing with the spacing and format here.  @_@

a plate of tiny Amethyst crytals

Celestite cluster

Rogerley Fluorite, which fluoresces a light blue
in natural daylight

And don't even get me STARTED on my collection of dead sea critters - shells and skeletons and corals and things.  If I ever figure out what to do with those, it'll be another post. :)

I DIDN'T DIE, I SWEAR.

In fact, after a necessary break from house-y stuff during which I sewed my ass off for the SCA, I've gotten back to work around the house.  (Finally).

Thing #1

I picked up this mirror from Goodwill last week for $5.99.   It's meh.  Nice wood, not crazy about the color, or the style, to be honest.  But it was six bucks, and the right size.

zzzzzzz...

But with a couple of coats of plain ol' black paint:

hey, look:  potential!

You guys remember the long entry hall, right?

long hallway is long. 

coat rack from salvaged headboard

 





















I flipped all this business to the opposite side of the hall (the coat rack was already on that side, actually), and hung the new oval mirror next to the "Moroccan" one that was already over this "landing strip" shelving unit.

YAY.  I like this so much better.  It feels more balanced, and everything is all on one wall together.  I can now use the outlet that was hidden behind the shelf before.  And, best of all, the two mirrors catch light from the dining room and bounce it down the hallway, so it's not so cave-like with the door closed.

granted, I'm shooting against the light here,
but this is about how dark it normally is. 

Yay!

The only thing I didn't move was the picture frame that was up there. I'm not sure what to do with it just yet, but I'll let you know.  Meanwhile, check out the awesome light patterns the two mirrors throw onto the opposite wall!

That. Is freaking cool.  I think this wall needs some art - something big, not this little Buddha painting all by itself.  I'll have to come up with something that will be enhanced by the nifty mirror reflections.


Thing #2 tomorrow...



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